I Believe

What do I believe? I believe in the goodness of people. I believe that I have talents. I believe that I can provide something good for others. I believe that I am a good person. I believe that there is someone out there who can help me. A job? A place to live? Money? I believe I can't give up. Trying to stay positive, but I have to say in all honesty that it is hard. It is hard to believe. Life is hard. No one said it was going to be easy. I just wanted someone to believe in me. Being picked last all my life has taken its toll. Sorry to have to say that, but that's the way it is. I have tried to be honest with my blog readers. I have put my heart on my sleeve. It may have been painful for me to do that, but I felt it was important to understand my world. If I were to go away, how many people would feel sad? I know the immediate sadness would probably be great, but then the sadness would wane over time. I am reminded of my friend BJ who killed herself several years ago. At the funeral, there were people behind me who said they didn't know she had problems. I knew but did nothing. I have had to live with that guilt for years. I have told you that I had problems. Few have acted on them to help me. Thanks for that. I have asked for counsel, and have gotten it from some, but others have said nothing. I know a lot of people have problems. I have brought upon myself some of my problems. Even if I had stayed with Macy's, I would have lost my job by now. I saw the writing on the wall. I made a change. Some would say that the change was wrong. I am not going to debate that issue, although I do have some agreement with those people. I should have had a better plan. Dreams aren't enough. Not in this world. So, what do I believe? I believe I must stay around until 1/31. After that, all bets are off. If you believe in me, please email me at durst11@gmail.com or Paypal me. I believe.