My Secrets

Everyone has secrets. Some are secrets you don't want anyone to know. Others are national secrets that no one knows, except for maybe the CIA. Or the FBI. Or the President. Or the Vice-President. You see where this is going. But, we aren't talking about national secrets. We are talking about my secrets. I treasured the confidence that a friend gave to me for her secret. We worked through her secret for several months before she felt comfortable in exposing her secret. Trust is very important with keeping secrets. Another friend speculated yesterday that I have a lot of secrets. I actually don't have that many. Many of them I have written about in this blog. For example, the secret that I wasn't supposed to talk about with my situation in Israel with the CIA and Palestinian terrorists. At least, they said I couldn't talk about it, but I figure that 35 years later is long enough. But, what are my secrets? Well, I guess that if I told the deep, dark secrets in my life, people may be shocked or at least think badly about me. That is where the walls come into play. I have written before about my walls. Sometimes they are very high and thick. No one can get around them or over them. I feel more comfortable with that. But, sometimes I open the door wide enough to see inside. That is what this blog is about. Look inside. Maybe you will see a little bit of you inside that wall. But here is a taste of my secrets:
1. How can I find people so well? If I told you all of my secrets on that, then maybe no one would want to hire me, as that is an important talent of mine. But, I will give you a hint. I love puzzles. I love challenges. I love games. I treat the search as a puzzle, challenge and game. I also use a little luck. Sorry, I can't say anymore, because it is a secret.
2. What is going on with my personal life? If I told you, all of my walls would tumble down. Maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing, but needless to say the old phrase "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" kind of fits. Yes, I love. I have loved many times over my life. Unfortunately, many of those times were a one-way situation. There are some secrets within this category, but maybe I can open up on them at a later date.
3. What about finances? My Mother, when asked how she was despite her stroke, would say she was fine. I wish I could say the same. My secret here is that I try and put a positive face on a very bad situation. When I asked a professional about would people know what was going on with my finances, she said only if I told them or wore a sign around my neck. I have told some about it, and some of those have felt worse of me. But, I will tell you a portion of my secret here: I am not doing well. In fact, I may be completely broke by Christmas without a job. My life has fallen apart in that regard.
4. How do I write or create? I really don't know. This is a secret that may or may not be known at all. The fact is that I know I have talents. I have a talent for writing. I also have a talent for acting. I also have a talent for seeing concepts that others don't. In some ways, it is like the cliche of "thinking outside of the box". I will have to think further on how I do these things. But, when I read something, that I have written some time before, I often do not remember writing it. Words flow from my brain to my fingers. I edit as I go. But, my secret of how I do this is in some ways a secret to me.
In summary, I have a few secrets. Maybe that maintains a sense of mystery. No, I haven't killed anyone. If you have any questions about my secrets, feel free to ask. I may even let you in on a secret, if you promise not to tell anyone. It is all about trust. Trust me.