Friday, October 24, 2008

Needing Help

I need help. We all need help. I try and not be so self-centered, because quite frankly it makes me mad that some people are just out for themselves and do not see others. There may be others very close to you that need help, but you have your blinders on and don't want to be bothered. Maybe you are just too cold. I used to be that way, but when I needed help, things changed. My life changed. I became a survivalist. There are people in my family, and some former friends, who think of me as a beggar. They don't like beggars. But, I am so close to being homeless, it isn't funny. So, what is the reality? Here we go. I have very little money, and I don't have a job. I am going to Columbia today to see if Sears will hire me and pay a decent wage. It is going to be raining, and my windshield wipers don't work. Is that dedication or just being stupid? I guess it depends on your point of view. My roommate informed me that my living situation in Greenville may come to an end at the end of the year. Without a job, I just try to survive. I am selling some stuff on the internet, and my autograph collection is in a store in Simpsonville. With hopes that some will sell, but it is not a done deal. Nothing in my life is a done deal. I suffer from depression, but I try to keep my head above water. If I do move back to Columbia, which looks like I will, how can I afford a place to stay? Maybe a roommate. Someone who I know. No serial killers nor smokers. Some place that won't cost much. I need a job that I can make a living. Where I don't have to ask others for help. It is the worst think for me to ask others for help. Some have been very nice and helped me. I guess they saw something in me that I didn't deserve. I need a newer car. Despite taking it to the shop 3 times, it still doesn't run right. Hopefully, it will take me to Columbia today. It won't last much longer. It will turn 20 next year, but I am afraid it won't see that birthday. Without cash or credit, how am I going to be able to afford a car? Without a job or a place to live, will I become one of our nation's homeless? I am becoming pretty desperate. I believe in prayer. I know God will provide, but God needs his people to help him help others. I pray that someone will help me. I need help.

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