Sunday, August 24, 2008

What If

I know that we shouldn't look back and second guess our lives. One could go crazy to second guess their lives. Your life should be a striaght line that continues. You can't go back and change things. You have to live and keep going. But, if there was a time machine, and you could go back, would you do it? Would you change your major in college to reflect the current times? Would you change your relationships? In the song "My Way", there is the line "Regrets, I've had a few, But then again, Too few to mention." I have had a lot of regrets, but would I change them? What if I had gone through with my proposal to Sandra and had actually gone into advertising and made a ton of money? I don't know if she ever read my proposal, but in a last ditch effort to win her back, I told her that I would get a job in advertising and make a lot of money to support her. I didn't go into advertising, although I did do a lot of creative writing to advertise products and services. What if I had never left Fort Worth and settled down with Kare? That would have been okay, but I never would have met my friends of today from Columbia. I never would have done my puppet shows or monologues. I never would have worked at Belk or Rich's/Macy's. I never would have met Wanda, Debbie (Ann), Del, Chris, Konnie, Joni, Aubrey, Ne'cole... The list is endless. What if Blue Mountain College had hired me to teach Theatre? I suppose I would have gone from there to teach elsewhere. I would have done what I was trained to do. I probably would have loved it. But, I also think that my life would have been stuck in that situation and not be as well-rounded as it is now. I could go on with this, but the point I am making is that one cannot look back and wish things were different. They are not different. They can't be different. You are the sum of your parts. You are who you are, for better or for worse. Whatever happens in the future, you at least have the experience of the past. Now, you go on. That's life.

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