Growing Older

I have known a lot of people in my life. Many of whom have passed on. Most have died from old age. Some have gone on because of accident or suicide. But, it is a fact of life. You are born, and you die. I try not to think about death so much, because I have to stay positive about my life right now. But, I am realizing that I am getting older. I noticed that in a mirror recently. Who was that person in the mirror? I like to think of myself as the same person I was 30 something years ago. I have noticed recently that I don't hear as many strangers snickering about me behind my back as I did when I was younger. They thought that I didn't hear them making snide remarks about my weight or my body type or my looks or whatever. But, I would hear, and it would hurt. As I have gotten older, those remarks have lessened. I don't command the respect of younger people, but they give their respect to me freely. Maybe that's why I get senior citizen discounts at restaurants, whether I deserve it or not. One woman asked me recently how I enjoyed retirement. I'm not retired, but I just played along. I have realized that, as I have gotten older, I cannot do the same acting stuff that I did before. For example, my Bible character monologue of Hosea. I wrote it from two perspectives. A present day Hosea and a old Hosea looking back on his life. With my age now, I guess it will become a two-person skit. One actor will play the younger Hosea, and an older actor will play the older Hosea. But, that's life. I have a habit of thinking of people they way they looked, when they were younger. Or, when I knew them years ago. One of the drawbacks to the internet is seeing people as they are now, as they share their pictures. I was reminded of this tonight, when I saw a picture of a girlfriend from college. Dare I say, my love? Yes, I loved her, and I think she loved me. It was a happy time, but things got ugly. She hurt me, and I hurt her. She was very beautiful, and she knew it. We grew apart. I saw a picture of her tonight as she looks now. I can still see her eyes and smile in her face, but she has grown older. I know we shouldn't dwell on the outward appearance. I am sure her inner qualities are pretty much the same. I would hope that my inner qualities are the same, despite being a little more streetwise now. It is still hard to grasp getting older. I don't really have a conclusion to this blog, because it won't conclude until I shuffle off of this mortal coil. I will say this, though. My body may change with time, but let me have my thoughts of staying young. Or, as young as possible.