Living Hope

You know, I don't ask for much. I am currently living in a crappy motel that advertises wi-fi. Problem is that it is not on but a couple of hours in the afternoon. I have had to search for hotspots around town like the library and out on the raod, where I am this morning. In my world of day to day existence, I look for hope to keep me going. Sometimes, it is hope of a new day. It is trivial hope. For example, the new Woodstock DVD comes out next month with a lot of bonus footage. I probably have most of it already, but the idea of having stuff I haven't seen before provides hope, so I live for that. I live for the hope of making some money with a new Cobbwebs cd, if it can ever be released. I live for the hope of one day being famous again. I live for the hope of getting together with friends. Sometimes, those hopes are dashed. Like we make plans to get together, only to be dashed. I have to understand that I am not the only person out there. I have to understand that the world doesn't revolve around me. But, they give me hope. So, if the hope is dashed, there is a part of me that dies a little bit. Back when I was trying to find a college teaching job, I sent letters and resumes to over 600 colleges around the country. Everybody said no, except for a few who wanted me to do things I couldn't do. I have a folder of all the rejection letters. They dashed my hopes. I try and be an optimist. I try not to let things get me down. I try to have hope. That's how I keep going. Hope for a better day. Hope for love. Hope for life. It seems a lot is one-way. My one-way. Can't somebody help me? I hope so.