Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Guy Manual

I am going to tell you a secret. If you are a woman, this may be a surprise to you, especially since you have never seen it, but it exists. It is The Guy Manual. It is how guys know what to do or act. We don't usually share it with women, but it supports our actions. I cannot share everything in the manual, as some things need to be kept secret, but I can share some things.
1. We don't need to ask directions--when we are driving and looking for that special place, we don't need a map or GPS. We can just drive around, and we will eventually find it. How do we do this? We were in the Boy Scouts, and we know where the sun is in relation to where we are.
2. We don't need to look at a manual to put something together--we are smart enough to know if there is a screw and a nut, and then see a hole with grooves, then the screw goes in the hole. Besides, those directions are usually written in another language we can't read anyway, and the drawing looks nothing like the item.
3. We have eyes--if a pretty girl walks by, we are going to look at her. The woman may look at what the girl is wearing, but we can't tell you those details.
4. We are going to drive fast--that's okay, because we want to get home to you. And, if you believe that, I have some land to talk to you about on the coast in the water with a beautiful view of the ocean.
5. We will be your slave--because we want you to believe that we care.
There are more items in the manual. If you are a woman, don't try to look for the manual in our stuff. We read it, memorized it, and then burned it. No evidence.

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