I have a friend named Thom. He grew up in the country and has some different ways of saying things. Of course, he knows the correct and proper ways, but it is just his way to say things such as "splain" for "explain" or "sketti" for "spaghetti" or "samich" for "sandwich". So, this blog is about "splaining".
1. Splain to me why I am not married? I was in love several times, but I don't think they truly loved me back. They liked me, but not loved me. And the only girl I think to really love me, I didn't love her, and she killed herself. Splain why no one will even hold my hand?
2. Splain to me why I can't get hired? I think I have a lot of good qualities. I won several job-related awards in the past. I know a lot about a lot of stuff.
3. Splain to me why I can't find a place to live? At least temporarily. Is there no one out there who will open their home to me? I know I have no money right now. I don't want to have to sell my Mother's rings. Or my father's gold watch. But, I am going to have to very soon. I am not a serial killer.
4. Splain to me why family members and some friends have turned their backs on me? After all, blood is thicker than water, whatever that means. I feel like I have been stabbed in the back.
5. Splain to me why churches won't respond to my asking them for help? Nuff said on that one.
6. Splain to me why rich people will give money to those outside the US but not to those needing help in this country? I don't want to name names here, but a particular American celebrity spends millions opening a school in Africa, when there are those in their city who could use that money.
7. Splain to me why Democrats and Republicans have to bicker and fight? Remember after 9/11 how the country came together as one? That lasted about 10 minutes. Let's put aside our differences and speak as one voice.
8. Splain to me why I can't win the lottery, so I can buy a newer car? Nuff said there too.
9. Splain to me why musicians in a band called The Cobbwebs can't get along? Can we maybe release the cd?
10. And, finally. Splain to me why people seem to underestimate my talents? I want to open a pop culture memorabilia store. I have almost $100,000 worth of inventory. I would be very successful with it. But, no one will invest in my success. I know the economy is down, but I know it could work in Columbia. Won't someone be my business partner?
I guess that is all for now. I hope this will not be my last blog. Help me.
1 comment:
Walter,
I enjoyed the post. 'Splain to me why this wouldn't work for you near-term:
1. Take the $100,000 in goods and discount them 50% to a consignment shop.
2. Sell as little as possible consigned, but enough to...
3. Rent a kiosk at the local mall to...
4. Sell as much as you can at retail prices.
With the profits, keep your mother's rings and your father's gold watch and get your car fixed. Or purchase a reliable used car.
Think of the plan as "shareware." If it works, send me $100. If it doesn't, the plan is offered free.
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