Another Update

I know I should be writing this blog every day, but I really haven't felt like it. Why? Well, I just haven't felt like myself. What is it that I am supposed to feel? Happiness (whatever that is) and Contentment (like those cows). In reality, I have not felt either of those feelings. As a matter of fact, I have been feeling increasingly depressed. Things are not going well. I am about out of money. I would have been a couple of weeks ago, but I sold a couple of things on the internet. I don't know, at this moment, if I will be able to afford another week at the motel. Probably not. The bill is due tomorrow. And, then there is the matter of my storage facility. It isn't due for 2 more weeks, but I just hope I will be able to pay that. And, then there is the matter of food. How can I afford to eat? I can't cook here at the motel, unless it microwaves. I eat $1 meals I get from the store. They are designed for children, but that is all I can afford. So, then I come to asking people for help. The short answer is that no one will. I guess I am not high up on their list, after vacations and other expenses. And, I can't find anyone who will take me in. And, then we come to looking for a job. I have applied to places, but no one will hire me. Why? I have a lot of good qualities. I can bring something to the table. But, maybe it is my age, or my sex, or my race. Who knows? So, I have been hearing the demons again. I have a lot of people praying for me, and I appreciate that. Prayer gives one strength. I believe that God cares about me. And, that's a good thing. But, unless I can find some money from somewhere fast, prayer is not going to be enough. No, I am not going to rob a bank. I am not going to knock over a liquor store. I am going to be a good boy. And, if I have to live out of my car, I guess I will. But, what if I was just to show up at someone's doorstep? Would they take me in? Yeah, we will see. After all, when I was in college, my debate partner and I showed up at a stranger's house out in the country and told them we were their long lost cousins. They fed us, and then we left. I think people were more trusting back then. Now, I don't know. So, if anyone is reading this, and can spare a couple of dollars, my PayPal account is durst11@gmail.com. Or, if you don't have PayPal, drop me a note via email, and I'll tell you my mailing address. I am not interested in publicizing any gift. I am just trying to survive a while longer. You know? Thanks for reading and say a prayer. Not just for me, but also for all of those out there who are falling through the cracks.