Aunt Grace

Word came yesterday that my Aunt Grace died near Atlanta. She was the wife of my Uncle Bill, who was my father's brother. He died about 18 years ago. Uncle Bill and Aunt Grace lived in Atlanta pretty much their entire life together. They were well-to-do, and she liked the life in Atlanta society. In some ways, she was a little standoffish, but in other ways she was very caring. Just when you thought you had figured her out, she would surprise you. For example, she used to dispise going to Greenwood to visit Grandmother. After all, Greenwood was a small town, and it wasn't Atlanta. It didn't have much to offer in her mind. But, in her later life, she moved to Greenwood and lived there for a few years. We all thought that was funny, but Aunt Grace was determined not to be pigeon-holed. Even though she was getting older, she would drive herself in her Cadillac everywhere. She had a small dog called Coco who was her companion for many years. When Uncle Bill was alive, they built a log cabin in their backyard, and turned it into a show place. After he retired, they were going to move to an antibellum house outside Atlanta. They were to sign the papers on a Monday, and it got hit by lightning on Sunday and burned to the ground. They kept their house in Atlanta. I used to get in trouble with my parents about what I used to call Aunt Grace. I would refer to her as "George Washington". With her white hair, standing up straight, her high forehead, and her sharp nose, she looked to me as George on the one dollar bill. I didn't mean any disrespect. She came to my father's funeral in Greenwood by herself, which was the last time I saw her. In the last year, her health started to get worse. It was clear that her time was short. My cousin Ann Foster did a great job in taking care of her. She was a very independent woman. Aunt Grace, we loved you.

Being There

My favorite book of all-time is "Being There" by Jerzy Kosinski. It is the story of a man, who was a gardener who got displaced. Through a series of misadventures, he becomes the nation's foremost philosopher and perhaps candidate for President. A simple man with little brains who loves one thing--television. It is a great story about how our society makes people famous, who don't deserve to be famous. If you don't want to read the book, which isn't very long, you can watch the film starring Peter Sellers. It was close to the last role he played. He did a brilliant job. Andy Warhol talked about everyone would get that 15 minutes of fame. Marshal McLuhan spoke on the medium is the message or massage, depending on your point of view. Our society promotes fame and fortune. There are famous people out there who shouldn't be famous. I am not talking about those folks who do criminal things to be famous. I am talking about folks with no talent who get famous. Consider William Hung. He couldn't sing, but he became a joke and actually released a cd of music. There are a lot of other examples. But, back to me, since this blog is about me and my world. TV has shaped my life. Movies too. Music too. But, mostly TV. My values and character has been shaped by TV and some movies. I guess it is a sad state of affairs, but I watched a lot of TV growing up. Kids shows, westerns, comedies, variety shows, the list is endless. I wasn't allowed to watch really violent shows at first. Later on, I got to watch those. What if we didn't have a TV? I don't know. There was a kid in our high school who didn't have a TV. He was a brainiac. Does that mean that TV corrupts and makes everyone dumb down? No, because there are a lot of stimulating shows on TV, but sometimes you just need mindless fluff. If you read "Being There" or see the movie, you will know something more about my psyche. And thus, something more about me. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Naming Kids

I was thinking about the thought process that parents have in naming their babies. Now, before anyone has any questions, I am not thinking about this because of any impending event in my life. I don't have any children and probably never will. But, I was named for my Mother's father--Walter Merrill. He was a judge and lived in Alabama. Thus, my full name is Walter Merrill Durst (the first). My mother had a brother named Walter, too. For a long time, my Uncle Walter thought I was named for him, but I was actually named for my Grandfather. My brother was named for my father, who was John Kemp Durst. Some would refer to Daddy as "senior", and my brother as "junior", but in fact, Daddy was John K. Durst III, and my brother is John K. Durst IV. So, you have those people who name their kids for famly members. Then, there are other creative ways. One friend of mine is named Aubrey. She was named for a wonderful song called "Aubrey" by Bread. If you aren't familiar with it, I am sure it is on iTunes. Check it out. It fits my friend Aubrey. Then, there is my friend Brandi. She was named for the song "Brandy" by Looking Glass. The song was a strange choice, based on what it is about--a bar maid. But, it makes for a good story. Then, there is my friend Joni. She was named for a singer named Joni James. Her father heard a song by her on the radio and decided that would be a nice name for his new daughter. Some people name their children based on Bible characters. The trend now is to either use last names as first names or as some sort of new-age names. When Frank Zappa named his kids Moon-Unit and Dweezil, people laughed. But, other celebrities wanted to make statements with their childrens' names. If anyone is reading this, who will have to face this issue down the road, please think of one thing. It is okay to be cutesy or thoughtful, and it is okay to give a name that expresses character. But, also think of if your child will be picked on by their peers because of thier name. If they go to a fancy private school, like many celebrity kids will, then I don't guess it will matter, but other kids will be cruel if your children are called "Moon", "Chevrolet", or "Captain Kirk". So, be careful.

Traffic Flow

I have noticed recently that there are a lot of followers out there, but not many leaders. That is in traffic. If you are on a four-lane highway (or more), there are far more people in the right lane than the left. Okay, on freeways, the left lane is for a faster flow. Don't you just hate it when the slow people get in the left lane on the freeways? Especially when it is rush hour? But, I am not talking about freeways. I am talking about the city streets. Recently, I have noticed that it is comfortable to be in the right lane, even if you are not turning right. The left lane can be empty, but everybody is in the right lane. Maybe they are having a party, and I wasn't invited. But, I am looking at the left lane, completely open, and nobody but me is on it. Let's give you an example. In Greenville, there is a big mall called Haywood. In fact, it's about the only mall in Greenville. They say over a hundred stores are in it. People from miles around come to this mall. It is right by an interstate/freeway. The main road that goes by the mall is called Haywood Road. It is a very busy street with lots of other stores and restaurants lining both sides leading to the mall. If you are coming up the road, with the mall on the right, the right lane is used for turning into the mall. So, you would think that all those people in the right lane would be going to the mall. But, Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Some do turn, but the majority are just following the one in front, when the left lane is open to get around these people. I don't know, but if I have to get somewhere, the last thing I want to do is to be stuck in traffic, when there is a way of getting around the slowpokes. Now, I do not have a lead foot. I used to, when I was younger, but I have realized that the older I get, the slower I drive. But, for goodness sake people. Take the opportunity to look around and see that there is another lane you can get into. But, if you insist on being in the right lane, and you aren't turning into the mall, watch the grass grow on your side. I will look at it later, but not now.

Frances Snipes

I am going to a funeral tomorrow for a woman, who could be best described as the mirror-image of my Mother. Her name was Frances Snipes. She and her husband Roger knew my parents in New Orleans around the time I was born. In fact, Roger was one of my father's students. When Daddy went to Columbia to be head of the South Carolina Baptist Convention's Sunday School Department, he asked Roger to be his right-hand and had up the Adult work. The Snipes were so close to our family, that my father would often call me "Roger" instead of "Walter". Mrs. Snipes and my Mother had many things in common. For one, they looked a lot alike and could have been sisters. They also loved to read. They had three children--Vonda, Cynthia and Stephen. Vonda was the closest to my age. She was the one who invited me to join the youth choir on January 4th, 1970 at Kilbourne Park Baptist Church. She was the catalyst that effectively saved my lfe. I would be dead now, if it hadn't been for that invitation. I taught Steve how to read. So, I have a lot of history with that family. When I decided to leave Macy's last year, Frances Snipes was the first person that I told. We rejoiced in the decision. The next day, she and Roger came in the store, and we had a prayer on the floor. Roger has been the one with ill health, having heart problems. Frances was the one with the strength, but she was called to Heaven first. We cannot plan things like that. We always thought that Daddy would outlive Mother, but that was not God's plan. So, the next two days will be difficult. The visitation will be this afternoon, and I will see a lot of people I haven't seen in years, but it will be just like yesterday. The funeral tomorrow should be a celebration. A celebration of love, faith, and going forward. But, there will be tears. When someone dies rather suddenly, you can't prepare for it as well. You must hold on to your faith. It is okay to cry. When my Mother died, many people referred to her as "a lady". Frances Snipes was a lady. I wish there were more of them.

Catching Up

Thanks for indulging me in reliving my Europe experiences. It was a very interesting trip. Some things I couldn't write about, but you got the gist of the trip. Maybe I'll find a rich American widow to take me back. Okay, so it has been three weeks since I could write about current stuff, and some things have happened. The Lieutenant Governor of South Carolina, Andre Bauer, wanted me to meet with his chief of staff Jim Miles. So, I went to Columbia and talked with him about me and what I would like to do. There doesn't seem to be any openings in his office, but it was good to meet with him, and perhaps get my foot in the door. I want to make a difference in people's lives. I also have a real talent in finding lost souls. So, here is hoping that I will be able to help others, but not in a retail vein. For several months, I have been working with my friend Joni about her trying to decide whether she wants to leave Macy's or not. She had been there for 22 years, but things had gotten pretty bad for her. They kept heaping on jobs for her, but was not getting the support that she needed. One of her good friends died around Christmas. Another got hurt. She had surgery on her wrist. Her father has heart problems. So, she made her decision, and I think it was the right one. She realized, as I did, that there is life after Macy's. There is a world out there. Yes, it is a little scary, but life is too short. Joni is a very caring person. She cares about others, and I treasure our friendship. Maybe we can do something together in our quest to make a difference, but for now, she just needs to decompress. Well, I guess that's all for now. No, I haven't seen the new Batman movie. Maybe later.

Going Home

The day had come that we had been looking forward to and dreading at the same time. The tour was over, and we were flying home. We had been to England, Italy, Israel, West Germany, East Germany, Switzerland, France, and Spain. All in 21 days. We had experienced a lot of stuff. We had fun and fear. There had been laughter and tears. We had even learned some things about the history of other places, as well as learning about ourselves. Now, it was time to go back to our home lives. Sandra and Talula never liked to be photographed without makeup, so I made a point to take a few pictures of them that morning, before boarding the bus to take us to the airport. They didn't appreciate it, but we were all in an up mood. It was a time of anticipation. "Tie A Yellow Ribbon" was our song. We got to the airport and boarded the 747 for the flight home. One of the ladies on our tour had her sword letter opener confiscated. She protested, saying that she had no desire to hijack a plane with a letter opener, but they took it away and didn't give it back. Never once did they ask me about my pen knife, which could have done more harm than her letter opener. We took off and realized what a special adventure we had. There were smiles and tears. And exhaustion. The plane landed briefly in Lisbon Portugal. We asked the flight attendant how long we were going to be there, and could we go into the airport, and she said we probably shouldn't, so I went out on the tarmac, just to say I was on Portuguese soil. Once again, we took off for home. The plane was packed with people. The movie shown in our section was the comedy "Ten from Your Show of Shows" with Sid Caesar. It was very funny. If you haven't seen it, you should. I could also see the musical "1776" from my seat in the next section. The 8-hour flight was pretty long. I tried to pass the time the best I could. Some people slept. Others played cards. I had written a song in Jerusalem called "Save the World for the Children". I wrote it from our experiences with the children in Nazareth that fought over the fruit, as well as the kids outside the Jerusalem museum. I worked on the music for the song on the plane. As a side note, Pope John Paul II blessed that song many years later for me. We got to New York and got our connection to Charlotte and then to Greenville. It was pretty late into the night, and jet lag had set in. The people in our tour were collapsing in their seats on the plane. Mr. Vivian told me after we landed that Talula, Sandra and I were using each other shoulders as pillows, and we looked as we were connecting as friends, as we didn't want our friendship to end. He had no idea how true that was. When we got back to Greenville, my parents were there to pick me up. Jim was there to get Sandra. We said goodbye and left. When I got home, Mother had tied a yellow ribbon around our oak tree. I saw Sandra one more time about a month later to exchange some pictures at her house. I saw Talula a few more times, and we keep in touch to this day. I have lost track of Judy and Sha. I think they are both married. Some of our tour members have died. Mr. Vivian died several years ago. Sandra and Jim are still married. I am still single. I am glad I went to Europe with these people. I would like to go back at some point and see some things again. I think I would appreciate them more. I got three hours college credit for going. I had to write a paper upon returning. I wrote one on the people we met along the way, but the professor wanted a paper on the history, so I had to write one on the places I went to, which I wasn't really sure about some of them and had to go to the library to see those places again. Much of it was a blur. So, I got the college credit, but beyond that, I got a chance to experience life, love, fear, being needed, and thankfulness of being an American. It was quite an experience. Three weeks.